HAVEN SEEN A HAPPY POST FOR VERY LONG.
BUT THERE WILL NOT BE ONE ANYTIME SOON. BECAUSE I'M STILL HAVING PRE-DEPRESSION SYNDROMES.

MAYBE IM ACTUALLY LIKE WHAT BAOQI SAY OF HERSELF, CANT STAY AT HOME KIND. WITHOUT FRIENDS TO TALK COCK TO AND PLAY WITH, SITTING T HOME JUST MAKES ME ROT AND SINK INTO DEPRESSION-LIKED MODE. I'LL THINK ALOT, AND TOO MUCH, TILL I WILL START TO HATE MYSELF FOR EXISTING.

SOMTIMES, THE MORE YOU REACHED OUT FOR SOMETHING YOU WANT BADLY, THE MORE IT SLIPS AWAY. HAPPENED TO ME TOO MANY A TIMES. BUT I CANNOT HELP IT.


IM TOO EMOTIONAL TO BE RUTHLESS TO MYSELF.

I STILL NEED ATTENTION. EVERYBODY NEEDS SOME AT LEAST.


WHEN I SAY THAT I WANT TO BE ALONE, ACTUALLY I DONT MEAN IT.
WHEN I SAY I DONT WANT TO BOTHER ANYMORE, ACTUALLY I DONT MEAN IT EITHER.

IM NOT THE KIND WHO IS ABLE TO MAKE MYSELF CARE LESS ABOUT THINGS GOING ON AROUND.

I NEED A SERIOUS DOSE OF ATTENTION, IF NOT I'LL FEEL ANGRY.
WHEN IM EMOTIONAL, YOU WILL KNOW THAT THE ATTENTION GIVEN TO ME IS PROLLY AT ITS LOWEST.




IM LIKE A PLANT,
I GROW TOWARDS WHERE ITS BRIGHTEST.
MOST OF THE TIMES,
OUT OF THE WINDOW.