The evaluation that everyone detest is back. This wednesday.
The 2.4 run is the core of the stress man. Not talking about how others see me or expect from me but how much I expect from myself. I cant let myself clock a timing above my previous timing but I really think that I cant hit that timing this time. The last evaluation, there was alot of mind battle going on in me, fighting pride and fatigue, a dilemma as to which one to give in to. I dont know if I can do that again. It was really a struggle for me and I really think I have challenged my limits. And if this time my timing is worse than the last, I would know that its not my best run and means I gave in the fatigue. That feeling will really suck. I always believe that there is no max to anyone's ability but I'm not confident of clocking a better timing this time. I dont know why. Its like after the last evaluation, I did not have the usual feeling that I can do the same thing again. The only thing that was on my mind was the word fuck seriously. Like fuck, I'm not going to do that again. Thats why I am afraid of this evaluation. But my ego is like THAT BIG, what am I going to do. Hell, the stress is fucking me up.


Maybe I can start worrying till the day itself or the night before. Fuck, I hate pressure.


Rowing today. I'm so tired to concentrate. Doing physics online assignment and I keep getting the wrong answer. Like what the fuuuck. Exhaust me even more. D:


Lastly, to the person whom I secretly dislike, I know you secretly dislike me too. If you dont like who I am, the way I do things or just my face, just fuck off okay. Because I dont like yours too. Get over it already. Fuck.