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I'm sick and tired of being sick and tired.
posted on Friday, May 15, 2009
FML~~ Whoooooo~

I realised, my life is really full of ups and downs. While the ups are not exactly exciting, the downs really fuck my life upside down. There are many many, countless times I've been through the same kind of shit but I'm still hanging on. There are periods of times when family problems sets in, not that they dont exist on a regular basis, just that there are times they spell trouble. And yes, I'm going through another bout of uncertainties yet again. So sick and tired of it already. It is really a mind torture, physically, I hope not.


On the other hand, I'm really glad I had friends to turn to when life gets a little messy and uptight at home. I LOVE YOU ALL! :) Sentosa with some of the Phoenixes. Anyway last night was a battle, which I lost. Couldnt really sleep, left home for fatty's place at around 4.30AM, took first train and bus before finally reaching at 6.30AM, two freaking hours of travelling, walking and waiting. Didnt want to wake the three pigs up so I waited downstairs for them, and that meant almost another hour. I realise I have alot of patience when I'm not feeling too good. HAHA. No, I shouldnt be even HAHA-ing, cause my dad just came in and scolded me for unrelated things, again. Never mind continue this fuck later. As I was saying, I didnt want to wake them up cause they just came back from kbox, which I couldnt go. Finally went up when they woke up, lazed around and left, fatty sending her car to workshop, breakfast at Ikea, bused to Sentosa. Sun was quite good, rugby-ed, frisbee-ed. marlau came, Lunched, apple, pok, sooshuen, tay came. Captain-rugby-volleyball-ed. Nice. Followed by alot of taupoking and muahcheeing and injuries inflicted along the way. Went swimming. played. talked cock. bathed. dinner at Macs. walked. homed with marlau.


In short, as long as I am away from home, everything is pleasant, whatever I'm doing and whoever I'm with. But today was definitely fun and it kept me from thinking about the situation at home, it really made me feel so much better, other than the violent fights and the irritating marlau, everything was like a cure to my battered mind heart soul!AWWWWWW Everything was well till the call with the Father. Sort of reminded me of everything back home and gave me a reality check. That, I still have to go home at the end of the day and face it, or them, or him, whatever.


When I came home, no one was at home though. But they soon came back and the cycle begins, scolding me for every little thing he is not happy about. And looking at him is terrifying. He no longer feels like the Father, maybe only for this period of time. I dont know.

When all these shits are thrown at me, I really cant handle. I just want my brothers to be home soon. Seems like they are the ones whom I can seek advice and rely on. And somehow, I feel safer with them around. 19th may! Come soon!


Okay this post is getting emotional.